E TELLS TALES

just ducky

2012-01-27T07:00:00.002-06:00

He loves the shit out of his plastic ducks. Have I mentioned this?

Wanna share?

What's that you say, Mr. Duck, you have a mission for me?

Oh dear, bad guys on the loose?!

I'm on it!

Where'd they go?

This sounds like a job for Elvis Earl.

+

mom

2012-01-26T04:40:00.000-06:00

My mother's 49th birthday came and went this week.

I can't do what everybody else does. I can't throw up a quote or ribbon on Facebook to remember her

by and feel buoyed by sympathetic likes and comments. Those are not for me.

Truth is, she was very manic in life and it made me pretty miserable. I once wrote in my diary that I

wished she would die already (I was about fifteen at the time and she'd had cancer for years), and I

knew she would read it because she was always reading my diary. She brought it up to me months later

when she was mad--she used to do that, use all your offenses on you at once.

It's no surprise I've surrounded myself with even-keeled people since she died.

I need to know I'm loved when I'm loved--I need you to say it without me saying it first sometimes. I

need to know you're not yelling at me when you're yelling at the TV. I need you to offer instead of

making me ask all the time.

I was always having to ask as a kid. She told us we were poor when maybe we were just stretched thin,

but then I'd watch her shop and shop and my little heart would get so stressed out about it, but you shut

your mouth because you were with Mom and it was a privilege to be with her.

I wrote about her once. I took that down.

I'm just not sure how I feel about her anymore. Almost eight months in with Everett and I think I

understand her less and more.

I simultaneously want to ask, "How could you?" and tell her I'm sorry.

Anyway, it's 4:30 AM. I just had to get it out.

snapshots II

2012-01-25T07:00:00.002-06:00

1. I told you, he has that pointer finger going all the time. The morning after Alabama won the National

Championship, Mike got Everett out of his crib and I heard him say, "That's right! We are number

one!"

2. "Daddy, Daddy, wake up!" If the kid knows we're both in the house, he won't rest until he has us

both in the nursery with him. This means Mike's usually on the floor. You know, because somebody

has to be in the rocker. And that someone is usually me.

3. Elvis Earl is showing you his tooth. He's gotten one more since this was taken. Teething reminds me

in some ways of colic. Just wanted to let all you moms going through teething know that there is a good

reason you're pouring yourself a glass of wine at the end of the day.

4. Anniversary picture! We got Chloe to come babysit and we drove a couple towns over for breakfast for

dinner. We haven't been since before Everett was born and I couldn't stomach bacon because I was

such a sicky preggo. I ate my fair share of bacon for our anniversary, let's just leave it at that.

5. Telling Everett that she's babysitting tonight, so he better behave. We stocked her up on babysitter

food (chicken fingers and ranch dressing and sweet tea) and walked her through what to do if he woke

up screaming.

6. Baby blues. You'll notice he's holding his pacifier. One of the biggest perks of having a baby his age?

I can hand him his pacifier from the front seat and he puts it in his mouth himself. I mean,

remember the days when I used to hold it in for him for hours? So much improvement!

7. He's pulling up! He's standing! He's falling down. I swear he goes to bed every night having had at

least three major incidents. Screaming tears, pinched fingers, carpet burn, bumped head, the works.

8. Rubber ducky, we love you. I got about a dozen cheap ones on a baby shower cake before he was

born, and now? They're his favorite toys. Out of all the toys we've bought him, those nickel ducks are

his favorite.

9. I couldn't resist.

the comments + what a blogger owes her readers

2012-01-24T07:08:00.000-06:00

As you know, I took my comments down two weeks ago today. I'd like to report on how that's going
and what I'm thinking about the future of comments on my blog.

Lemme break it down.

DAY ONE felt like shit. Everybody kept asking me "HOW DOES IT FEEL ISN'T IT GREAT?!" and I
had to be honest and say, "No, it feels kind of awful, like one of those things you do because you need
to, because it's good for you and the people around you, but not because it feels good." It felt like
everyone was going on without me, it felt like my words rang hollow.

That was the first day.

THE NEXT DAY Blogger premiered threaded comments, those ironic bastards. If they'd come out
with it a month ago, I would have never shut comments down, because I would have figured out how
to manage them. But I drew a line in the sand, and I was going to give it at least a week.

TEN DAYS IN and I'd found my new groove. The thing is, the first couple days were so painful
because that was my jam--answering comments in the morning. I had a routine, and the routine felt
good. Could I show anything for it at the end of the day? Not really. But it still felt good. So I had to
find a new routine. I had to be able to look into the face of my son and say, "I spent my time away from
you today with purpose." Because that's the thing. This was not a practice in gluing myself to Everett.
Motherhood is only a little bit about becoming a martyr. I think it's equally important to show your kids
how to find something they enjoy and how to do it well and with purpose.

Let them see you reading a book and they will read. Let them see you sewing and they will ask to
learn. Let them see you writing a novel, and they will start keeping scraps of their own ideas.

Let them see you reading and commenting on blogs all morning and they'll want a computer of their
own soon.

That's just simply how I think it works.

So what was the new groove I'd found? Obviously, it was about spending more time with my family,
but there's only so much you can do of that. Everett will only let me read so many books to him before
he starts to worry that I don't have a life. Get me? So I had to find a more productive way to spend my
free time. I filled it with friends, planning for my book club, working on a novel, and sewing. Those
were all things I could point to at the end of the day and feel good about.

Didn't I feel good about my work in the comments before all this? I guess so. Yes, those numbers are
always gratifying, but then we all go to sleep and forget about yesterday's comments. We have to wake
up the next day and run the race again. And since that race is not my ambition, it didn't make sense to
run it anymore.

Two weeks ago, when I pulled down my comments, I went back through every post I'd written in 2009
and 2010. You know how many out of hundreds were actually good? Maybe 50. Not because of what
I'd written, but because I'd shared a part of myself. I liked looking back at the pictures, I liked knowing
where I had been and what I'd done on that day. I didn't like the posts where I blathered on about what
I'd found on the internet.

I deleted those.

About 50 were left.

I thought about the hours I'd spent on all the rest. There were hundreds. I thought about how easy it had
been to delete them all from my blog. I had to sit a minute and be pissed about squandered hours.

So what now?

I have a new vision for the blog. That's part of the reason there will be a new design. I want it to be
more of a storybook of our life, more writing, more sharing. More of the good stuff. I don't want to
publish anything that I might feel like deleting in a year. If that means I go a day without posting
because there's nothing of substance to write about, then that's okay. I'm phasing out sponsors,
simplifying. There will be open comments here and there (the threading feature = efficiency, big time),
but I'm still sort of figuring out how to get back to the voice I have when I'm not worrying about the
comments.

There are some of you who don't understand that. Some of you have said hurtful things to me. Some of
you are pissed you don't have a voice anymore, some of you think I'm falling apart, some of you think
I'm ruining your blog.

I get that. I understand that every time a writer puts her work out there, she asks her readers to get
invested. And many of you are pretty darn invested. I appreciate that, and I can see how it might feel
like I'm ripping the rug out from under you. I'm screwing up your jam too. I guess all I can say to you
is, "Just wait and see."

And then there are the rest of you. Man, group hug. How do I find the words? When I took the
comments down, you came out of the woodwork to support me, to tell me how long you'd been a silent
reader, to share with me which of my blog posts were your favorites, and how they made you feel. That
means a lot to me, especially because I know you don't have to, and I know you know you don't have to.

+

I saw a tweet in the Alt Summit feed this weekend about turning your blog into a book. It said
something like, don't count on your readers to buy your book since they're used to getting free content.

It got me thinking about give and take in the blogging world. I asked myself, "What kind of reader am
I?" I'll be honest, I'm a total lurker. I only read 3, maybe 4 blogs, but I read them religiously. I never
reach out to those bloggers because I did in the beginning and never got a response. That's why I try
extra hard to answer emails and comments. I've had a few readers ask (anonymously) why I never
comment back on their blogs. I know in some circles that's a thing. I used to be in that circle, but I was
spending hours on the computer commenting back. It took me too long to realize that the only reason
people were commenting on my blog was because I was commenting on theirs. I switched over to
commenting back in my own comments, which wasn't good enough for some, but it worked for me. I
lost the readers who were waiting for me to comment on their blog, and gained a more genuine
commenter--they were in it just because they had something nice to say.

Anyway, all thinking out loud. What do you think a blogger owes her readers? Should she answer all
their emails? All their questions about where she got something?* Does she need to always have
comments open so her readers "have a voice"? Does she need to comment back on their blogs if they
take the time to comment on hers? Does it bother you when she doesn't? Do you still comment on big
time blogs even though you know you won't get a response? Why? And what about readers...what do
they owe to the blogger who keeps them entertained every morning? (and afternoon and night if she's
on social media)

*I can't decide where I stand on this one--in the beginning, I used to think that big bloggers were
bitches because they never told their readers where they got things...but now I see readers asking over
and over and over again, broken record style. As a reader, I try to only inquire if I'm serious about
buying it for myself, but I can see how the bigger bloggers would a) get tired of answering and b) not
really want to share with the world so that everyone can copy. Total side note, but it's stuff I think
about.

ten little ivie things, v. 12

2012-01-20T07:00:00.004-06:00

1. My sister and her husband gifted Everett his first pair of Converse sneakers.

You think I freaked out? You should have seen Mike. He waxed poetic for days about how that was all

he wore back in his basketball days...it was all you could wear back then. You didn't have any other

options. Don't you love how stuff comes back into fashion after it's become obsolete for a while?

2. And then I had to go dig up an old news clipping of Mike in his Chucks. But you can't see the

Chucks. But you don't care because the picture stands alone. What a hunk. What a string bean.

3. Everett needs a tent, dammit.

1 2 3

I can think of nothing that would inspire a little boy's imagination more than having his own little

hideaway right smack dab in the middle of the living room...other than something like dirt. Boys get

pretty imaginative with dirt. I'm sure you agree.

I know I can make one of these myself, but I haven't found a good enough tutorial yet. You got

anything good?

4. Teething, you biatch.

Everett made me write that.

He's been pretty strung out with the pains. He's not sure whether he's slap happy or pissed:

He'll get back to you.

5. I'm starting a book club. It's pretty much written in stone when I start a board. The good

old-fashioned kind of book club, where people meet at my house and I serve them cheese and wine and

send them home drunk and well-read.

Just kidding.

It's hard to get together at this point in life. Everybody either has a new job, a new baby, or a new

husband. We have to coordinate for weeks, drive for an hour, drive back. It's hard, you know? Book

club will be a good excuse to get together once a month and chat.

So, two questions.

Do you have a book club? What do you do?

And what's the best book you've read recently?

6. Everett learned to crawl like yester-freaking-day. And now he's pulling up on furniture and taking

wobbly steps. Shut your mouth, kid, just shut your mouth.

It may be time to put a cage into action.

You know, a brightly-colored one.

7. I mean, he's practically walking anyway. Just...at the same time as he's hugging the floor. No big

deal, he's quite the little yogi. Mike was all, "He's so over crawling on his knees."

8. Oh and heeeeey. It's our anniversary this weekend. We're getting a babysitter and going out on the

town. 'Bout time Mike took me on a proper date. Nobody better come up to our table wanting to shoot

the shit or I'll cut them.

9. Comments on this bad boy are open. Just a little experiment. I will be addressing my comment
hiatus in length on Monday. It's been pretty...interesting, to say the least...what it's brought out in me
and other people.

How's that for a cliffhanger?

10. One more note about the blog. It will be undergoing a makeover sometime in the next couple of

weeks. I figured we're all freaking out about the changes already, I might as well just slam us with

another one and get it over with. Think muted coral, mustard, gray + minimal + calligraphy. You'll love it.

1 2 3

Link up? Don't mind if I do.

+ copy and paste the code below to insert this link up button in your round up post

+ then click to enter below!

the magic hour

2012-01-19T07:00:00.006-06:00

From the Morning by Nick Drake on Grooveshark

{elvis earl}

{downward dog baby}

Yesterday motherhood got to me. The part where your baby gets new teeth and wakes up all hours for

nights with terrors. The part where you didn't know he was even in the bed with you at 6am, so of

course he falls out face-first when Mike is in the shower. The part where every cord and dangerous

thing becomes the object of his little baby heart's desire and you spend your entire days running down
a baby that won't be held.

Those parts.

So I just took us into the nursery, brought some snacks, some sewing, some music, some toys, and shut

the door behind us. Everett practiced his crawling while I sewed. I lowered his mattress while he

investigated the closet. The music made it good. The sunset in the windows made it better. He didn't

fuss, he didn't whine. He chewed on my toes. I clucked to him every now and then, and he'd turn

around from what he was doing and flashed me a toothy grin. We stayed in there for two hours like that.

Sometimes babies just know when their mommies need a minute of peace and quiet.

Bless them.

our christmas home movies + notes

2012-01-18T08:25:00.000-06:00

This song was made for this movie, no? I love how it has a silly little lilt right as Everett tries to dig in.
I love how Dad doesn't get frustrated, but looks so determined to get it right. I love how he presses
Everett's hand in down at the bottom instead of the center, but sticks with it anyway. I love how he
completely botches it by pressing his own paw in it to get Everett's loose. I love his face when he
finally gets it done. He said, "Huh?!" with all kinds of pride. We rerolled and tried one more time, but
it was messy again. I left it like that to remember this by.

If this one didn't make you cry, you may need to get your eyes checked. I sat and literally bawled when
I put it together. I'm going soft! I love the first little video clip, where my dad is clucking into Everett's
ear, and Everett smiles, and Dad smiles, and they have the same sideways smile. I love that. Dad used
to cluck to me when I was Everett's age and I would cluck back. It was our language before I even
knew my words. I also love how I got so much of them together in that big chair. Dad would sit and sit
with him all day long, and Everett didn't mind just chilling there in his arms either. That's very
not-Everett, if you know what I mean, so it was sweet to see him that way. Then there's the clip of Dad
rubbing the back of Everett's duck fur head with his mouth. I'd catch him doing that every now and
then, just taking in that baby smell and sealing the memory, so to speak. And the last little black and
white clip--I had a record on the turntable and Dad was whistling along to the tune. Everett just sat and
watched and ducked his head down and laughed. They are so, so sweet together, those two.

I caught Ivie saying "Whoa, stop it right now" at the dinner table. Ha! That's his signature phrase when

Dot starts acting up. We had drinks, ate dinner, opened a few presents, and then I got the star of the

show up to see everyone. He's never been so warm and snuggly in his life. What a sweetheart.

Mike and Mike both have bedhead in that first clip. Cracks me up. I love my Mike's face of glee while

helping Everett open his first Christmas present. Both impatient. Paper in the mouth! Books in the

mouth! They're basically a mirror image of each other. And he only reluctantly shoved that lion hat

onto Everett. I love that thing. He hates it.

Who's ready for next Christmas?! Me.

music:

The Family Stone Waltz by Michael Giacchino

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Michael Giacchino

Christmas Wish by She & Him

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Ella Fitzgerald

my love story print: for sale

2012-01-17T11:33:00.003-06:00

It's true. You can have it all to yourself.

small and large

long weekend with friends: everybody poops

2012-01-17T07:00:00.002-06:00

Dana and Katherine came over to my place this time.

Even though Christmas living room is gone and everybody and their mother knows who I'm married
to, a part of me still cringes when people come into my world. Will they notice the toilet that never
stops running in Mike's bathroom? What about the old barbeque, wood scraps, random trashcan, and
brokedown lawnmower right by the door? Surely. Mike refuses to let them go, like we grew up in the
Depression and we don't have those things in perfectly good working condition somewhere else. When
they meet Mike for the first time, even though they've seen pictures of him, will they melt in horror at
the oldness? Will they look at me and say something rude? Will Mike do something silly? Does my
house smell weird? Can they see that water mark on the ceiling?

And so forth.

I think we all do this.

I mean, I don't know who I think I am. Like I'm supposed to be living in a palace with a fine ass man
(read: Ryan Gosling) and perfect baby who never cries (read: fake baby).

I'm my own worst critic when it comes to these things. Hey Elizabeth, you poop too, and so do they.
Everybody poops, and they probably didn't see where Everett has pissed all over his nursery wall and
that I don't give a shit anymore and it's still there...from when he was a newborn.

Their bellies were full.

The conversation was good.

The baby was entertaining, dammit.

And that's what you get when you come to my house. Pee stains and Everett.

+

when your dad becomes "grampa"

2012-01-13T07:11:00.000-06:00

When I see Everett with you, I think about the time you told me you never stopped loving Mom.

Even though you hurt and twisted and damned it all, neither one of you really stopped loving.

There you were in Iowa twenty-six years ago, and you made a family. You talked about getting back to

the earth, buying a farm, getting chickens, growing your own foods.

And you did it.

I remember those neat rows of vegetables and the soft baby chickens up in the loft of the barn.

You lived your dream. You had babies, and you probably imagined those babies with babies of their own,

just like I do with Everett. I see all of Everett's children when I look at his sweet face.

And it's nice, even though it all got messed up, that finally one of your babies had a baby, and you're

still living that dream.

{I love how tall and straight Everett sits in this one}

snapshots

2012-01-12T09:48:00.000-06:00

1. When Mike changes Everett's diaper, it's like every man for himself. Shouting and yelling and

confusion about why this damn diaper won't fit anymore and where do we keep the wipes and you

knew this was a poopy diaper, so you asked me to change it on purpose (*wink) and Everett scooting

further and further off the edge of the changing pad...all in an attempt to make me throw up my hands

and say, "Okay, I'll change all the rest of the diapers infinity! Go drink your coffee!"

2. But that's never gonna happen.

3. This little stinker is into everything. I emergency baby-proofed with a roll of duct tape. Don't you

dare judge me because my cords are all taped three feet up the wall.

4. Stair time. Saying goodbye to Daddy is still one of Everett's favorite things to do. Mike says, "Now

is this because I look funny getting shorter, or because you're all 'nanna nanna boo boo I get Mommy to

myself, fool'...hey that rhymed!" It's probably the second, don't you think?

5. When my dad was here for Christmas, we got into a talk about his divorces. Very seriously, he said,

"After your mother, I swore I'd never get married again. But I did. It's theses eyes. Women fall in love

with these eyes." And then he turned to me and said, "Be careful with Everett. He has them too." Yes,

yes he does.

6. Fancy. Because I spent one too many days in a blogger top knot and no make-up and Mike was

starting to say things like, "See, even when you try to grunge up, you're still beautiful," which is nice

but also code for, when are you going to take a bath already?

7. I dressed Everett up in big boy clothes. And then promptly put him back in a one-piece sleeper

because it made me equal parts upset that he was growing up and yearny for another newborn. Too soon!

8. Peeking in at the little prince falling asleep in his bright, sunshiny nursery. He can do it! And he naps

better in the car seat now too. I'm not sure if the two are related, but let's say they are.

9. Mike went to a funeral. He was super handsome in his fancy duds and Everett crawled around and

played with the tassels on his shoes. He took his parents with him and came home shouting things to

me. "Why are you shouting?" I asked. "OH!" he said, it was because he'd gotten stuck escorting a deaf

friend of the family around. "MIKE WHO'S THAT FAT MAN YOU JUST HUGGED?!" So funny.

seven months with everett

2012-01-11T07:00:00.003-06:00

Let's hold onto these things:

+ the way you hold up your pointer finger, like a balance, so you don't fall over, or like a boss man,

mommy do this, not that

+ how you dip your head down to either side when someone smiles at you; you're flirting, a heart

breaker in the making

+ how you like meat more than fruit and vegetables more than meat; if you could talk you'd say, "I like

my beans green!"

+ when we put you down for a nap you reach behind you and grab your blanket with both hands, just

to make sure it's there, then you rest your head and fall asleep easy

+ you wake up twice a night to eat still: once around midnight and once around three

+ you've been going to sleep earlier and earlier, some nights you can't make it past 5:00

+ one of your greatest delights is my long hair; I'm not cutting it for you, so that you can roll your

open palm over the ends of my curls as much as you want

+ when I take you out on walks now, all bundled up in your knit hats and sweaters and blankets and

shoes, you sit up tall like a big boy and watch the dog run circles around your stroller

+ you started crawling this month; you'll crawl for toys if you have to, but you really scoot fast when

there's a phone in sight or a bunch of cords you shouldn't play with

+ you've got a new sharp tooth and it keeps us all up at night

+ you hate for me to be on my iPhone while we're nursing; without breaking your latch, you'll reach

behind you to where you know it is and cover it with the palm of your hand...stinker!

+ if you put your pacifier in your mouth backwards, you patiently set it back down on the floor, flip it

over, and put it back in correctly

+ after I feed you solids and you hear me running the water to wet a washcloth for your face, you start

puckering up, sputtering, and whining, even if I'm a room away, in anticipation of having your face cleaned

there you go!

song: who's my pretty baby by elizabeth mitchell

dear reader

2012-01-09T19:18:00.001-06:00

Dear Reader:

I want to put into words what happened here on Friday.

For me. I loved it. It was seriously everything I hoped it would be. The comments were interesting,

raw, full of hope and a little bit of fear. I wanted to give lots of hugs as I read some things. Consider

yourself hugged. I was also astounded by how much we have in common. Even though I don't know

who you are, I said, "Yes, me too!" to a lot of what you had to say.

One wish that kept repeating really tugged on my conscience. Every time it came up, it was just as if I

had written it out myself. This wording especially, it sent a chill up my spine:

I want to quit ignoring my baby to get on the internet. Ten years from now I'm going to kick myself

because my little blog will still be little, but my baby will be grown and I'll have missed it.

I don't know who you are, but you might as well be me.

Yes, I thought of Everett, and of how guilty I am. You see, sometime during my pregnancy, I started

responding to comments in the morning. It was doable because I wasn't getting that many comments at

the time, and it was enjoyable because I had nothing else better to do and the conversation was great.

But somewhere along the way, the comments grew, and I got sort of trapped in the conversations. They

were delightful, they were good, but they had trapped me. Each time someone asked a question and I

answered and then they came back a second or third time, I got more and more trapped.

Trapped, or addicted.

There were some mornings when I'd literally balance Everett in my lap while I typed, or didn't look

down at him breastfeeding once because I was glued to my phone.

These aren't my best mothering moments. And I hate that I'm telling you. But I think I need to.

Because it became clear on Friday that I'm not the only one. The comments told me that there are a lot

of you out there struggling with this same thing. I had a huge wake up call in the shower that morning.

Those comments made me think about my mother. I don't want to say that she was addicted to the

internet, because I was young, and I can't really know that. But I can tell you what I remember.

I remember when our family finally got a computer. They fixed up a little room for it and put a pad

lock on the door. She stayed on the computer and the phone all day long. If you came up to her and she

was busy in that room, she'd swat you away. She was writing a book of local history and there were

emails to be answered and research to be done. Even Chloe, who is 8 years younger than I, remembers

how hurtful that was. We talked about it this weekend when I told her I wanted to disable my comments.

So that's it. I want to disable my comments and I want to take down the followers widget.

The widget is already gone, and the comments will be after today. I'm not sure if this is temporary or

not. I will say that knowing that tomorrow I won't have to answer to the ticker makes me feel so light. I

can get back to a place where I get on the internet because I'm truly bored or there is real work to be

done. Remember that place? I got lost. I got sucked in.

Another thing I saw on Friday was that some of you are hurt by the blogging community. You wonder

why you don't have any followers or comments. You dream about a bigger readership. Your goal for

this year is to grow your blog. I can't fault you for that. I feels so good to see the numbers grow.

Those numbers tell you that you're doing a good job. But the flip side of that is, when those numbers

don't grow, or worse, they fall, your ego, your self worth takes a blow. A blow from strangers.

Let's just all admit that those blows come from strangers.

When I first considered taking down my numbers, my worry was this: How will new people know my

blog is any good if they can't see how many comments or followers have?

That's my addiction talking.

Those people will know because of my words. Either they will like them and find a way to follow. Or

they won't and I'll never know. I've been blogging long enough to know that it won't matter in the end.

The people who followed me and commented in the beginning DON'T read or comment anymore, with

the exception of three that I know of. Three people. You know what else? Less than five percent of my

readers today comment. Let that sink in. Let that be your comfort when you beat yourself up because

you just worked two hours editing pictures of your baby's first Christmas and only got single digit comments.

Anyway, before I close this party down, I want to say thank you to those of you who have been very

loyal commenters. I don't want you to feel like this is me telling you that you've somehow done

something wrong. You've done everything right. In fact, I've made friendships...real friendships...that

started in the comment section of my blog. And that is a real blessing.

But right now, I need to clear my head. I need to get back to the writing that happens when you don't

have to ask yourself at the end, "Will people be able to comment on this?" I need to be able to post just

pictures of my family and a little blurb about what we did that day without feeling hurt that the

comments dip because there's no conversation in that. I need to quit comparing myself to other

bloggers. I need to quit watching the damn numbers.

And I needed to say this out loud, so thank you for reading. And understanding.

Candis made this little print for me when I emailed her about all of this over the weekend.

If you've read my love story, then you probably recognize the phrase.

Turns out, I knew the answer all along, she just had to remind me.

I'll keep you guys updated on how it goes.

anonymous was a resolution maker

2012-01-06T07:00:00.001-06:00

Have you made your resolutions yet? You've probably already blogged your list, right?

Things like...

You know, the things we aren't afraid to share that we are striving for, hoping for, wishing for this new year.

But.

I have this idea.

Maybe it's corny.

Or maybe it'll be the best thing that ever happened to us.

We can't know until we try it, can we?

What if we all left an anonymous comment below with our deepest wishes for 2012?

Would they inspire someone else? Would we find hope for ourselves?

I'm thinking it'll be a little like burning an unsent letter in a trashcan. Or making a wish on a candle.

I'm not even sure what this is going to look like. Maybe you'll leave an anonymous comment with your

dream, and maybe you'll leave a comment with your profile encouraging someone else? Maybe both.

I'll just leave it open.

And somewhere in the comments, I'll leave my anonymous wishes too.

Because I've got a lot that go unspoken, as I'm sure do you.

Note: to leave an anonymous comment, just select it from the drop down menu like so:

OR I'd love to hear your good old say-them-out-loud resolutions too. Whatever. I totally feel like the

teacher who just tried to inspire a bunch of teenagers to be creative on a Friday. Sorry about that.

everett's alter ego, elvis earl

2012-01-05T07:00:00.001-06:00

Everett's crawling.

I'm telling you, I can't let him out of my sight. No, out of my reach. He gives all toys and brightly-

colored kid things the baby cold shoulder and goes straight for whatever looks sharp and metal and

dangerous for soft baby heads.

I was only joking when I said that I'd be the first person to knock him down when he started crawling

(so that he didn't ever learn), but maybe I should have been more serious. It's crazy cakes up in this house.

Anyway, crawling is just one symptom of Everett's new alter ego, Elvis Earl.

What the hell?

I know. Mike janked up his name one time in his mouth and called him Elvis instead, so that kind of

stuck, and then I call him Elbert Earl when he acts naughty because that's Ivie's name and Ivie has a

bunch of old man sass. And so Elvis Earl was born.

Elvis Earl will bite your boobies with his sharp teeth.

He'll rip out your hair and eat it for breakfast.

He'll gag himself with his pointer finger and puke sweet pea puree on your clean shirt.

He'll grunt and screech at you from across the room until you pay attention to him.

He doesn't like to be cuddled.

He doesn't like to be kissed.

And don't you dare try to hug and smooch his mommy without his permission.

Mike learned that one the hard way.

I know it sounds silly, but I'm telling you, this kid is the biggest ball of love and temper I ever did see.

And I love it.

He's just like me.

trying for number two

2012-01-04T07:00:00.002-06:00

When I was with my friends last week, watching my little one play on the carpet with everything but

the toys he'd been handed (as they do), I suddenly blurted out, "I think I'm ready to try for number two."

What?!

Did I just say that? Out loud to real people.

I think I blurted because I needed to test the waters. I needed to know what I think about it by saying it

to someone else. Almost instantly I knew my answer.

I'm not really ready. Because inside, I'm much too nervous to get pregnant again right now. Hell, I'm

not even sure I'm doing this first baby right. I spend all day never being enough.

Did I read to him enough?

Feed him enough?

Hold him enough?

Share him enough?

Talk to him enough?

No. The answer is always no. I could do better. And if I could do better, then can I really be ready?

And then there's fear...

I'm scared of pregnancy.

Remember how freaking mean I was to people when I was pregnant? Okay, maybe you don't

remember that. But I was ILL. More than that, I was ill. I threw up every damn day. I went without

showers, didn't brush my teeth, stopped blogging, stopped sewing. I hunkered down and had me a baby.

Let me tell you now, there will be no hunkering down with Everett around.

And too, I'm scared of colic.

Mike and I have just now been able to laugh about that time we let Everett sleep next to a running blow

dryer all night for a week. Granted, it was on cool, but for crying out loud! I smack myself in the

forehead about that now. How dangerous! How desperate.

So I'm torn.

Here I have this constant mom guilt that tells me Everett deserves 100% of me.

And then I have this dream I've had since I was young--lots of babies, lots of toddlers, lots of lunches

in brown bags, carpools, friends over, pizza after baseball games, graduations from preschool and

grammar school and high school, lots of proud moments and scary moments, and life, you know? I

want to make the family I didn't have.

Is there enough time for all that? Sometimes I worry I painted myself into a corner, just me and the

clock on my marriage. If I surround myself with his children, and something happens to him, then what

becomes of me? Of that dream?

It's scary. I'm scared.

I tell myself every day, just love.

Just love.

Just enjoy this now. Don't race against that clock.

So many deep thoughts. What about you? In your dream, are there children? How many? Are you

scared too?

ringing it in, saying goodbye

2012-01-03T07:00:00.002-06:00

I can't resist this blogging trend.

I must.

I must do a year in review.

Sorry, I can't help myself. It's just that I've really, really enjoyed blogging this year. I feel like I found a

groove. Figured out what to write about, got an audience, made real friends, got on the Twitter.

It's been a good year for blogging, don't you think so?

Anyway, I'll keep this simple.

My favorite posts from 2011 + some thoughts:

10. when you marry the old guy + he's vintage

{It's a tie between those two...I can do that. Loved writing more about Mike this year. He's so funny,

and mostly he doesn't even mean to be, but I just couldn't not share his many Mike-isms with you.}

9. little brother

{A lot of you still ask about Joseph after this post. I'm not sure what to tell you right now.

He's not communicating with most of us. We're just hoping time works things out.}

8. "i married a frat guy" or why i also want a son

7. everett, i hope

6. never grow up

{I didn't even know what I was saying in those posts...but I was saying all the right words.

The more time goes by, and the more I watch my son grow, the right-er those words get.}

5. 30 weeks and how the gender surprise was ruined

{I really had you guys going, didn't I? Reading the comments as they came in on that post was the best.}

4. nightmare on hormone street

{Thank God I only have to register for gifts once. I feel like that post crossed the line between polite

Elizabeth and pregnant/hormonal Elizabeth...and I kind of stayed over the line permanently.}

3. first week: things overheard

{So glad I wrote so many of those things down.}

2. everett's birth story + everett's half birthday video

{another tie!}

1. our love story

{Did I tell you guys that Mike moseyed on over to my blog not long ago and read our love story?

He did. He was a total mush about it too. "It was nice reading all that again," he said.}

And your favorite posts (tallied by visits, excluding the 10 above)

10. bam! everett at three months

{Best series of pictures ever.}

9. reader question: most embarrassing moment

8. labor and delivery tmi

{Did I really just blog all that?}

7. everett vlogs! on eating

6. child of divorce

5. little ee is here!

{Loved announcing his gender in that one. You guys were so excited right along with me.}

4. jessica

3. why are we so scared?

2. brace yourself, i vlogged

{So silly, so fun. I wanted to vlog every day after that.}

1. baby shower no. 1

{Mostly because it was the first picture I ever posted of Mike.}

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Did you do a year in review? A list of goals? I want to see. These things make for great reading.

Use the button...link it up!

birthday shenanigans

2012-01-02T07:00:00.004-06:00

Is it just me, or do birthdays keep getting better?

They had to get worse first, of course. You know, when you're like 19 and an official adult and nobody

gives two shits about your birthday anymore, so you pout a little about it? But then they get better,
because you get over yourself and remember to just enjoy the day and each little wish means so much?

That.

So thank you, each one of you, for the wishes you sent me.

Here is part of my day:

we went to Katherine's house; she took these pictures...thanks Katherine!

Everett's birthday gift to me was ten minutes of pure, unadulterated cuddling

Katherine and Dana...best friends from my college teaching program

Gotcha hair, Mom!-face

the biggest, bestest lemon birthday cupcake

Dana was the first to call Everett "Bump Ivie"

mess included

haha

it's my birthday

2011-12-29T07:00:00.003-06:00

I am 25 today.

This time last year I was waiting on a bub. I blew out my candles and wished for two things: a healthy

baby and a year of true happiness. I can say that I got what I wished for now. Maybe it's because I'm

more mature and making better wishes, but I've never been able to say that before.

Anyway, I'll be spending the day with my family and a couple of dearest friends. I'm going to leave

you with my favorite story. I make my dad tell it to me each year over the phone. The last time I heard

it was the week before I gave birth. It's so special to me, and the best part is how he adds something

different at the end each time...some random memories that make it worth hearing again and again.

"Every day I had to tell your mother, who was so sick with you, you're going to make it through this, I

love you, and this will be a healthy baby. And then I only had to tell her every two days, and then every

three, and then only once in a while. She was so, so sick with you.

We were lucky we had such a good obstetrician at the base. Your mother just fell in love with him,

and I know he fell in love with her too.

Sure enough, the time came, and she told me she was ready to go. We went in at about 9 at night, and

you were born very early in the morning. It was really important to her that she deliver naturally, after

having a cesarean. Of course, she delivered you that way with no drugs just fine, and you were very

healthy.

And what was so funny was that after it was over, I kissed her on one cheek and the doctor kissed her

on the other. Ha!

Later that morning I went back home and got all the kids and brought them to see you. I shouted

through the house, "It's a girl!" Then we got to the hospital. We have pictures of that, maybe you've

seen. You were on one side of the glass in a crib, and of course they were all climbing over each other

to see you. You were just a beautiful baby, and so healthy.

Then we took you home, and for naps we'd put you in your little nursery and turn on a country music

station to drown out all the noise from the other kids. You know Patrick jumping off the sofa on to

Michael's back and so forth. You liked Alabama and Kenny Rogers and the Judds, but I can't think of

any other female artists you liked since a lot of them during that time had a twangy voice that you

didn't really care for.

And you loved me! You were so in love with me. At night you'd just light right up when I came home

from work. And you know what I wish I'd done? Tape recorded just half an hour of you, me, and your

mother, just the noises we'd make. You get pictures all the time, but no noises. And I would just record

it maybe every six months--I think about that all the time, how nice that would be to have now.

But anyway. It was about the best kind of birth day a person could ask for."

everett's first christmas + a christmas post link up

2011-12-28T07:00:00.014-06:00

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christmas by Elizabeth Ivie on Grooveshark

EE and ee going to dinner with the Ivies + Mike's cousin looks like Santa...close enough to count

baby's first Christmas ornament, a sweet gift + my handmade stockings above the fireplace

Christmas pajamas, Christmas bib, Christmas face + Grampa feeding Everett solids for the first time

Mike and Mike reunite over the paper

chevron Christmas pajamas + watching The Family Stone

I don't think Dad ever put him down + Everett was okay with that

I spent my free time reading pattern books + and watching these two

a Swedish massage and a love letter, the best + hot chocolate with my marshmallows

Dad teaching me how to make gravy + desserts: chocolate, pecan, banana, Italian cream

aunts and uncles and their snuggly nephew + me and Dad and our same smile

me and Mike, all the presents + I caught Ivie sticking his tongue out at me, haha

What they say is true. A baby makes everything that was already magic more magical. The company
was sweeter, the music was better, the twinkle lights were brighter, and the fire more cozy.

I loved it.

I hope you all had a very merry Christmas too.

Want to share yours? Use the button below in your post and link up!

ten tiny ivie things {friday edition}

2011-12-23T07:00:00.003-06:00

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Kind of in love with adding a touch of glitter.

What do you think, is plagiarism an addiction?

I'm making this adorable kimono dress after the holiday rush dies down.

Love these hair tutorials. Is she not the most striking beauty?

Haunting pictures I could tell a story to.

I've already started making one of these for Everett's first birthday.

I can think of so many things to do with this colorful chevron twill tape.

Fun care packages for parents.

Do you deal with chronic bitchface?

I'm a sucker for pretty tutorials. Here's one for a basic manicure.

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{image source}

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Merry Christmas, dear readers!

+

ten tiny ivie things {thursday edition}

2011-12-22T07:00:00.002-06:00

If I wasn't already married to Mike, I'd marry this guy.

My favorite blush - it never wears off and you can use it on your lips too.

My grandmother never told me any of this stuff either.

29 ways to stay creative.

Last minute wrapping? Tons of adorable holiday gift tag printables.

Love the vintage look of these posters.

I don't have a Birkin bag and that's okay. I'd rather have these anyway.

Instant business cards.

Love these number rings. How neat would it be to wear your anniversary date? I'd need a 2 and a 1.

What reality TV can teach young girls. It's surprisingly good.

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{image source}

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ten tiny ivie things {wednesday edition}

2011-12-21T07:00:00.010-06:00

I want to join this book club. Do you belong to one?

The prettiest cooking site I've seen. It's all about the pictures.

The handmade toy is cute, but what do you think about The Man?

Sew your favorite looks yourself.

Love this teepee, but where would we put it?

Working moms are happier? But there's a catch. Love the author's closing words.

Make your own keepsake family cookbook.

These old maps are just breathtaking.

Gorgeous family tree printable.

Do you ever think about making the leap from blogger to author?

{image source}

ten tiny ivie things {tuesday edition}

2011-12-20T07:00:00.005-06:00

Everett needs a horsie!

I'm serving this slowcooker butterscotch pudding cake on Christmas Eve.

Are you a font nerd? Here are a bunch of really pretty free ones.

I like big books and I cannot lie.

I've already got the itch to redecorate Everett's room. I'm thinking these colors.

Some interesting thoughts on writing about your kid on the internet.

Tons of sewing and crafting projects to make for little boys.

Completely enamored by these hand-cut garlands of Christmas carols.

I would totally wear this around the house every time I got my period.

Have you ever thought about printing your blog?

{image source}

ten tiny ivie things {monday edition}

2011-12-19T07:00:00.009-06:00

{this week the Christmas shit will hit the fan, so in honor of that,

I'm going to be doing miniature posts all week and disconnecting just a tad...

can't wait to see you on the other side!}

This is how I'm wrapping presents this year.

Navajo baby leggings that'll make your uterus talk to you.

I made these paper cube string lights for the foyer. So easy and so magical.

How to make handprint ornaments with your little bubs.

Inexpensive gray striped straws for your next party.

I could sit and read these stories all day about people who quit their day jobs to sell on Etsy.

My favorite nail polish- the Rebel Yell shade is pretty perfect for me, don't you think?

Everett's Christmas pajamas.

This book is the first thing I'm gonna buy with my Christmas monies.

The most gorgeous calligraphy. Do any of you know how? I want to learn.

{image source}

ten little ivie things, v. 11

2011-12-16T07:00:00.004-06:00

1. Some fun music for you to listen to while you read:

For Friday by Elizabeth Ivie on Grooveshark

2. I bought my kid some pajamas without stripes. It was a bold move on my part, since stripes are his
thing and it could have gone badly for me. But he didn't really fight me when it came bed time, so I
think thermal union suits are in!

3. Baby toes!

Everett has the jankiest toenails. I blame Mike for them all the time.

4. Mike got me a new iPhone this week as an early Christmas gift, which you can probably tell by my
snazzy clear as a bell Instagrams. We were in bed going over the differences in his 4 and my 4s.

Prepare yourself.

Me: Watch this. Text Mike Ivie 'I don't give a damn'

Mike: Are you kidding me?! (with wonder)

Me: Oh yeah baby. And it plays songs. Play Pink Moon.

Siri: Sorry, I couldn't find Pink Man in your music.

Me: Play Pink MOOOON.

Siri: Sorry...

Mike: She said Pink Moon you stupid bitch.

Siri: Sorry, I could find oral plan stitch in your music.

Mike and I were literally dying. Tears, in stitches, the whole nine yards. Best Christmas gift ever.

5. Speaking of Mike with an iPhone. I finally downloaded some of the pictures
he's been snapping with that thing. Get a load:

Looks like I'm not the only one capturing Scary Granny faces.

(last time I'm saying that, I swear)

6. I've blogged before about monthly subscription boxes. This one with beauty products and this one
for moms and babies.

Well hold on to your Pinterest-loving panties.

Whimseybox. Craft supplies sent to you in a box. Shut your mouth AND slap your mama.

Here's a little video about it and you can request an invite here.

7. I'll start number seven off with a picture worth a thousand words:

Maybe you already noticed I'm hugging five yards of minky fabric.

I don't think I need to remind you of that time (read: those times) I said ugly things about minky. But
Mike convinced me that I was being unfair, that sometimes you have to give the people what they
want, and that even I could make something that tacky something not tacky.

So I ordered five yards. And then I took it out of the box. And then I fell in love.

People. Have you felt this stuff?! It's like a baby, except fabric.

Anyway, not-tacky shit with minky on it coming to an Iviebaby near you.

8. Speaking of baby things. I promised you a tutorial on how to make Everett's chevron blanket:

It's coming up next week, but it might be a little different than you expected. And by different, I mean
better. And since so many of you asked, I'm also making you a tutorial on how to make your own baby
video like I made for Everett's six month birthday. What what! So get to filming your little nuggets.

9. Shannon from The Scribble Pad sent Everett these sweet hand stamped and embossed cards.

So stinkin cute.

I love it when stuff on Etsy (especially the paper variety) isn't mass produced but actually made by hand.

10. Time for the link up! I can tell by my linky dashboard that you guys had fun with this last week,
visiting other blogs and whatnot. Let's try it one more time and see how it goes?

+ copy and paste the code below to insert this link up button in your post

+ then click to enter below!

let there be light

2011-12-15T07:00:00.008-06:00

You might remember how I blacked out Everett's windows back in September. I literally took a roll of

kraft paper and taped up every last sliver of window so that it was always pitch black in there. He

started taking the most naps in the history of napping. For months I was all, I'M THE SMARTEST

WOMAN WHO'S GIVEN BIRTH EVER.

But then my kid got smarter than me.

Not surprising.

He realized that when it came to sleeping, there was no night and no day. So recently, he started

waking up in the middle of the night and playing in his crib like it was a Friday and he just got off work.

Party animal.

So I took down the black out. Mostly because I figured out that he was smarter that me,

and I was all, I'll show you.

Just kidding. Mostly because when we took him to Thanksgiving dinner, I realized that he

couldn't nap in the daylight anymore. So that meant I was stuck at home with him

for naps forever until he was 18, and even then I was going to have to go black

out his windows for him when he started dorm life one day.

{haha, mommy made a joke}

The first day was rough. He was all, you don't pull cold turkey on a baby! He played in his crib

all day long and cried a lot. I had a friend over, and I'm sure she thought I was the worst

mother in the HISTORY OF WOMEN WHO'VE GIVEN BIRTH EVER.

Amiright, Amber?

But then he figured out the black out gig was up. Mostly because I'm out of kraft paper. He takes

considerably less naps these days, but they're hard naps and long naps.

And then he goes to bed at 5pm, wakes once to eat at 3am, and goes back down until 7:20.

You can kick me in the teeth if you want.

{he loves his boppy because it smells like boobies}

It's been nice because we can chill in the nursery again without being all emo and depressed and

stubbing our toes on things. Stupid toys.

We can read books in the sunlight again.

And Everett also admitted that I am in fact smarter than him again.

Which is true. I mean, I let the sun do the work now. He goes down for the night when it gets dark

outside and gets up when the sun hits that side of the house. Best damn baby alarm clock ever.

me, except not me + mike, except not mike

2011-12-14T07:00:00.000-06:00

This post is mainly me talking about my looks the whole time. Forgive me in advance.

Last night, Mike and I were being silly and talking about "that movie they're going to make of us

one day," which led to a discussion of who we'd like to play us in said movie.

You guys do this too, right?

Good. Moving on.

I get told all the time that I look like these girls.

Not too shabby. I think I hold my mouth a lot like Mandy and Julia, and maybe it's the hair on Emma?

But I'd have to go with Julia in the starring role as Elizabeth. Love her because she's so darn cute.

Of course Mike was all, I think you look like Nicole Kidman (he has a crush on her).

I get these all the time for Mike:

James Cromwell, John Slattery and Anderson Cooper. I think James is a dead ringer. I showed him to

Mike, and he said, "Yep, that's my nose alright."

Who are your lookalikes? When your movie gets made, who's going to play your starring role?

I think I want Patrick Dempsey to play my high school boyfriend (young Patrick, from

Can't Buy Me Love...tell me you've seen it).

everett vlogs! on eating

2011-12-12T07:00:00.003-06:00

{omg, this kid is hamming it up}

{i could creep up on some food right now}

{whenever mike sees this picture he shouts, "ma, the meatloaf!"
if you know what movie that's from, he'll be your friend}

{i'll just chill here while you guys watch}

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And now, for the vlog.

You're basically not going to listen to anything I say,
and you'll probably just watch the baby the whole time.
That's fine. Just know that I'm telling you about
Everett's favorite things to eat so far.

Oh, Everett. You got my feisty personality, no bones about it.

+

I'm trying not to let starting solid foods stress me out. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I started
breastfeeding about this part of it (eventual weaning), but it was probably along the lines of "Either I'll
last a day or I'll last two years." So when I made it past a day and people started bringing up solids and
weaning to me at four months, I might have panicked.

So for now I'm just going by this mantra: "Foods before one are just for fun."

He's just exploring right now. Bananas can sometimes be too sharp for him, he likes mashed potatoes.
It's all "Everett meet food, food meet Everett" up in this house and nothing more. Meaning I'm not
trying to force a jar of chicken and gravy down him before bed so he'll sleep through the night. Yes, he
might take it, and yes, the sleep might be bliss, but when he starts preferring the gravy over my boob
milk at seven months and I realize I just made him wean early, the tears, I'll have them.

Our doctor said that after 6 months boob milk doesn't have enough iron in it, so I need to introduce
Everett to meat. At first when he said it, I pictured giving Everett a turkey leg. He'd probably dig
that. The doc also said that once I noticed Everett making a chewing motion, I could make a little
shepherd's pie for him: ground meat, mashed potatoes, a little cheese. I was all, hey! we have that for
dinner all the time.

Welcome to the family, Everett!

Anyway, Mike gives Everett a small jar of meat (beef, ham, chicken, turkey) while I'm tutoring in
between two feeds. EE's not full on milk anymore, but he's not hungry for a whole meal. I'm trying
to avoid replacing a breast feeding until I'm ready to wean, so I only give him solids in between,
never instead of.

Anyway, blah blah blah. I feel like Everett was probably more concise about this when he smeared me
in bananas.

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Here are some of our favorite eating things so far and my thoughts:

beaba babycook baby food maker

Don't be fooled by those tantalizing Baby Bullet infomercials.
This one is better since it steams, processes, and warms the food.

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the best homemade baby food on the planet

Love it because it's not intimidating at all.

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solids starter kit freezer storage trays

Love these because they are 1 ounce portions. Others you'll find are 2 ounces
and when you're just starting out, that's too much for babies.
They also come with recipes.

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baby mum-mum original

As seen in the vlog. They also make them in organic and banana-flavored.

muchkin fresh food feeder

I'm trying not to go the strictly pureed route by giving Everett
some finger foods and letting him have only what he wants through
the mesh of these feeders.

I've also frozen a piece of banana in there before and let him chew on it for his teeth.

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boon no spill cup

As you can see, Everett still needs some work in this department, ahem.

Our doctor told us at our 6 month appointment to start practicing the sippy

cup with him now. The package on this one says 9+ months.

boon squirt baby food dispensing spoon

When I do give him mush, I use this thing.

babybjorn soft bib

For catching the banana. It comes in handy the most when I lean towards baby-led weaning.

lobster high chair

If we take Everett to a restaurant, I take this thing. I also use it for lunchtime if

Mike eats with us because I think it makes Everett feel like part of the family,
as opposed to "that guy over there in his huge ass eating throne."

joovy nook high chair

When he eats by himself though, he eats in his huge ass eating throne.

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fill and freeze puree pops

These give Everett crazy crazy give me give me eyes.

I think it just feels good on his gums and they're easy for him to hold.

Anyway, the end of that stuff.

I know a lot of you have babies Everett's age. How are you guys doing with solids?

Any advice from the been-around-the-block mamas?

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ten little ivie things, v. 10

2011-12-09T07:00:00.007-06:00

1. I got a nifty little question on my Formspring this week. How many hours a day do you spend on the

computer/iPhone? At first, I was all, oh girl, all day! Because really, this is 2011. But then I thought

about it seriously, and since I'm curious to know how much time you guys spend on the computer, I'll

come clean with a real answer.

It depends. On my kid.

He usually naps like a champ in the early mornings, which is why I schedule my posts to go up during

his first nap. That way I can respond to comments, answer emails, blog, convo people back on Etsy. I

probably spend about three hours on the computer in the mornings.

I'm rarely at the computer in the afternoon. I will comment back using my iPhone during a feed, but

since Everett is awake, I have my hands full and he deserves my attention.

In the evenings, Everett goes to bed at 6 and I have two hours to kill before Mike gets home. If I

haven't finished my computer jobs (yes, I consider blogging and Etsy my jobs since I make money

from them), I do it then. It's rare that I get to sit and troll Facebook or random blogs like I used to

before I had a baby. When Mike gets home, the computer is off for the day and I spend time with him.

So in all, I'd say 5-ish hours. What about you?

2. The living room is in massive overhaul right now. The walls are painted gray and I'm almost done

with the trim. Up next? Striped curtains. I've pinned a ton on my nesting board.

I know there are a few ways to get this look (painting the stripes on, sewing strips of fabric together in

alternating colors, forking out a million dollars for a custom pair on Etsy), but I'm doing this my way. I

bought plain white linen drapes online and 3 yards of charcoal linen which I'm going to cut into strips,

hem, and sew onto the drapes. Voila.

3. Another living room project? Not spending a million dollars on new furniture. At first, Mike was all,

don't they make slip covers? And I was all, shut your mouth we don't do slipcovers in this family. But

then I was on Pinterest and saw that fitted slipcovers are "in" now (it's true!), so I'll be using these tutorials

{one + two + three} to figure it out and get it done before Christmas. I pee myself a little just thinking

about it.

4. Speaking of Christmas. I've already been thinking about what I want to wear, you know, since last

year I was in that awful stage of pregnancy where maternity pants give you fupa because you're not

preg enough, but regular pants give you muffin top because...well, you're baking a baby. Get

it?...baking...muffin top?

Anyway. Giant Christmas wardrobe fail.

I'm thinking this:

Love the brown and black together as well as her updo.

5. I'm not going to say a ton about my tutoring job, since it's my job and all, but I will say this:

PEOPLE TEACH YOUR KIDS MATH AT HOME. And start early. Mike already recites

multiplication tables with Everett, not because he thinks it's working, but just because he's a nerd like that.

I'm not a math teacher, so I don't know what they are up against, but I have a sneaking suspicion that

standardized testing killed math (real math) and put the calculator on a pedestal. I'm tutoring kids in

math who can't do anything without a calculator. They can't do 12x12, and they can't do 2x9. They

can't translate me saying, "What's four from nine?" into 9-4 so they can punch it into a calculator. They

don't know their multiplication tables and they don't know how to add or subtract in their head.

They're in the 8th grade! In August they'll be in high school. I can't believe it. I come home each time

and make a promise to my son that he will be able to do 8th grade math one day in his head and all his

buddies will be jealous about it.

End teachery rant.

6. So I've posted about what to get babies, menfolk, ladies, all those other peoples for Christmas.

Want to know what I want?

+ I ask for a catbird ring every year and never get it. Ahem, Mike.

+ I want new feet for my sewing machine. I've been coasting on a button-holer for years.

+ Okay, I admit I'm super jealous of Mike's new phone and the quality of the pictures he takes

of Everett. I want an upgrade!

+ I'm a trouser jean junky.

7. Hoorah! It's another random recipe from my kitchen! Plus a story to go with it.

After Mike and I got married, I made dinner every night (not so much anymore, sorry dude). I had a

rotation of no-fail recipes, and a roast was not one of them. I didn't know how to make a roast right, so

I didn't. Meanwhile, Mike would go on and on about how much he loved roast beef and mashed

potatoes. Blah, blah. So I got out my mother's recipe and proceeded to ruin a roast. He had to request a

knife and spent way too much time chewing. I cried.

Yes, I cry over stuff like that.

Anyway, I have since perfected the roast. He doesn't even mention his mother's anymore except to say,

"This shit is better than Dot's."

Better Than Dot's Roast

3 pound chuck roast

1 cup water

2 packages onion soup mix (the cheaper the better)

1 cup Dale's steak seasoning

a crockpot

Mix all ingredients and cook 1 hour on high and 7 hours on low.

Bam.

8. Candis and her husband Drew added a little something something to my Iviebaby banner.

Could I be anymore in love? No.

9. You guys. I'm the mom that taught her son to howl like a baby wolf. I am pretty stoked about it...you

know...because he's mimicking me, and I feel like that's pretty advanced for a baby who still hasn't

learned to say my name (soon, E, soon). I'll try teaching him something a little more socially

acceptable next time. But for now, get a load:

Can't get enough of EE? Good. Because he's doing a vlog next week, in which he loses his temper and

smears me in bananas. What, what!

10. And now! For the link up. If you wrote a round up post today too, then I'd love for you to share.

Here's how it works:

+ Click to enter below. It will take you to a page to link up.

+ Drop a line at the bottom of your post that says Linking up with E Tells Tales

Happy weekend everybody!

tutorial: circle nursery mobile

2011-12-07T18:48:00.005-06:00

Today I'm going to be showing you how to make your own paper circle mobile,

just like the one that I made for Everett's nursery:

When I made his, I was large and in charge pregnant to the max. I parked

myself on a stool and cut circles, tied knots, and ate food all day long. The one

I made for this tutorial went super quickly, but I did still have to park myself

on a stool...aaaand there might have been food involved again.

Anyway, here's what you'll need:

+ 6 sheets of cardstock

{I used two sheets each of three different greens to get a monochromatic look}

+ fishing line

+ one button

{I used a clear, two-hole button}

+ scissors

+ sewing needle

+ glue gun

+ a length of string

+ two wooden dowels

{I used 3/16 inch}

1. Start by cutting out your circles. I used a mason jar lid and a hairspray cap to draw mine.

If you want all the same color, just cut out 54 small circles and 41 big circles,

or if you want cascading shades like mine, use this guide to tell you how many to cut out:

2. Cross your wooden dowels, and use your length of string to secure them in the middle.

3. Now cut four 24" lengths of fishing line.

You will tie one end of each length to the end of a dowel.

Then dot the knot you make with some hot glue.

4. Once you have all four pieces of fishing line knotted to your dowels,

gather the free ends of your lines and string them through one hole

in your button. Tie a knot in the four lines on the other side of the button.

You'll use this button to hang your mobile eventually.

5. Now organize your circles. There is only one center chain, and it is the longest.

Then you'll have three chains per arm. This picture shows a flat view of

what will hang from one dowel.

The chains that will hang from the other dowel will follow the

same pattern, except there will be no center chain

(the two dowels meet in the middle and share the same center chain).

6. Cut a 30-inch piece of fishing line.

Thread it through a sewing needle and tie a big knot at the end.

String on the bottom circle.

7. Tie another loose knot about 1-2 inches from the bottom circle.

I used my fingers as a spacer and knotted the line on my index finger.

If you want a more compact mobile, leave less space in between each circle.

If you want a longer mobile, use more space.

8. Once you get one chain all strung together, tie it on the dowels according to this guide:

The longest, center chain will go where the center black dot is.

The four shortest chains will go where the outer black dots are.

And then you'll work your way up to the longer ones moving inward.

Once I tied a chain onto the mobile,

I put a dab of hot glue over the knot to secure it.

Here's my finished project for the day:

It's much longer than the one I made for Everett's nursery because

I put four fingers of space in between each knot as opposed to two.

dear santa, i want all the things: amazon edition {for the last minute + online shoppers}

2011-12-07T07:00:00.002-06:00

This year I did all of my Christmas shopping online (all but one purchase).

And I am pumped!

Everything is already here in boxes. People will be getting what they want

instead of what I could scrounge up from the rinky-dink local mall. Cheers all around!

So here are some of the things I've bought online for my family either in years past or this year:

{for sisters + cool aunts + best blogger/real friends}

philosophy completely clear + cosmetic brush set with pouch + the hunger games trilogy boxed set

university navy toms + kindle fire + brother sewing machine

{for babies + nieces + nephews}

dancing alligator + stacking rings + magica clutching toy

oval xylophone + moby clutching toy + manhattan toy skwish classic

stacking train + geometric stacker + abc block cart

{for husbands + dads + brothers + uncles}

the original swiss army watch + merrell encore reach + zippo hand warmer

automatic belt driven turntable + keurig single cup brewing system + trion z wrist bracelet

whiskey chilling rocks + acacia wood serving tray + white flip ultraHD video camera

{for moms + stepmoms + grandmoms + wives}

cuisinart electric fondue maker + real simple subscription + electric wine opener and chiller

jacqueline kennedy: life with jfk + gourmet food basket + hi-res digital picture frame with music

half birthday party + home movies

2011-12-06T07:00:00.003-06:00

+

Birthday party!

I meant to throw a low key triple birthday party for

Everett (1/2), Chloe (17), and Elbert Earl (86),

but sadly big EE has been in the hospital,

so we're keeping these decorations up for a second

round later this week.

{everett and his favorite person!}

{everett's special baby cake...thanks for the recipe, Ashleigh}

{bones in it, mama!}

{let's have cake all the time}

{i tried to make pinterest magic again}

{first present demolition}

{ribbit!}

And now!

I put my very favorite home videos of little EE together

with one of the songs I used to play him in my belly and

some of the words I wrote down in his baby journal

these last six months.

Hope you enjoy it!

everett at six months

2011-12-05T07:00:00.002-06:00

Length

Birth: 20 inches

Now: 30.25 inches

Weight

Birth: 7 pounds 12 ounces

Now: 21 pounds 8 ounces

Special talents

Humming! I hum you a Christmas song before all your naps these days, and as soon as I start up,

you join in with your own version of humming. You also reach up and lay your fingers over my
lips...maybe so you can get the right tune? It's the most tender thing. I hope you get a beautiful
singing voice like your Uncle Joseph.

Sitting up. One day you just quit reclining back like the fat little prince that you are.

You are all about sitting up straight, usually with your two arms out to the side so you
can balance.

Picking things up when you want to and putting them where you want them. You've been waiting to do
this for six months, I think. Frustration used to be your middle name when you couldn't get things to do
your bidding, but now you make all the magic happen with your hands, and you love it.

Eating

In addition to boobies on the regular, you've had:

Three entire bananas, the juice from one sweet pickle, three bites of mashed sweet potato,
multigrain baby cereal every morning for breakfast, one half avocado, water from your sippy
cup, ham, a special baby half birthday cake, and as many rice rusks as I will let you
shove in your mouth.

New tricks

Sitting up. Swallowing food instead of spitting it out. Sticking your tongue out at someone
on purpose. Taking baths in the kitchen sink. Going the entire day without one single nap.

Sleep

Yes, there was that one day you went without a nap.

And lately you've been gravitating toward an earlier bedtime. 5:30?

Someone had you your pajamas already!

You've also started waking up wide awake at 2am and happily playing in your crib
until about 5am, which means you sleep in a little later. Thank you, son.

Crying

You've gotten a severe case of the stranger dangers this month. I think it's because you're at home
with your soft-spoken mommy all day, and your daddy is pretty even-toned when he drops in
for lunch. Get you around other squealing babies and men who talk loudly? You go
berserk and demand to have your mommy RIGHT NOW. I half love it and half think to myself,
"Yikes, we need to socialize this kid more!"

Dislikes

Your loud pediatrician with the white hair and funny faces.

When Mommy takes away food before you can pulverize it into your many baby crevices.

Having your face wiped down after a meal.

Being in the jumperoo now that you know your body is for moving.

Likes

When Daddy goes down the stairs. I'm not sure if you think it's funny that he's leaving
or that he's getting shorter, but you giggle and snort about it for ages.

When big EE whistles show tunes to you.

Aunt Chloe's long, dark eyelashes and soft skin.

Watching snippets of The Family Stone with Mommy and getting all excited
with her whenever you hear your name.

Staring at the Christmas tree and roaring fireplace.

Happy half birthday, my favorite little man.

+

five months

four months

three months
two months
one month

ten little ivie things, v. 9

2011-12-01T07:00:00.005-06:00

1. I have to share just one picture of Everett getting ready to chow down on his foods.

Boogers in his nose and all.

This kid is mine! Pinch me.

More on the eating escapades coming soon.

2. You'll notice that Everett is wearing his amber teething necklace in that picture. Maybe you're

curious about it. Maybe you just think I'm nuts. But I'm here to tell you that that thing is filled with

crazy voodoo magic. Here's how it works in layman's terms: once the amber is warmed by being in

contact with your skin, it releases a natural healing remedy. I'm not sure what kind, and I probably

don't care. Babies wear it for teething, but grownups can also wear it for arthritis and tendinitis, both

of which Mike has.

Stocking stuffer!

Just kidding, he'd never wear it.

Anyway, I got mine from Inspired By Finn, and they sent a coupon code with it for me to

"pass on to my friends." Hi, friends!

15% off: use code SAVE at checkout

3. One of you linked to this May-December wedding video on my fan page. I'm gonna be totally

honest and say that it was weird for me to watch.

I'll let you watch it first before we discuss.

Anyway, like I said, I was nervous watching. I wanted this video to be...I don't know...a good

representation of my marriage? That sounds weird, but that's how I felt. When I started watching, I

kept thinking, I hope she doesn't look like a gold digger, I hope he's not too old looking.

The gift she gives him? It's a picture of the new puppy dog she got him. I was sold when I saw his

reaction. Who gives a shit how old he looks? Really.

Anyway, I say all that to say even I, who am in this crazy thing with Mike, get all judgy-eyed when

May-December comes up. And I just thought I'd share.

4. Just a little FYI/housekeeping: I rearranged my tutoring schedule. From now on, I'm only going

over in the afternoons. The morning deal was stressing me out and making me resentful. Mornings are

Everett's best time of the day. It bothered me that I was having to get ready while he was sitting on the

floor giggling to himself. It bothered me that I was rushing around like a chicken to start off the day

just to tutor for 50 minutes.

Anyway, I sat down and got things fixed, and now Monday posts will be going up just like always--at 7am.

Mondays are saved!

5. Y'all get on Twitter.

If you're not already.

I resisted for like...several years. I was all, I don't need to be on Twitter because I'm already cool

enough. Wrong. I love it because it's sort of like being able to text your favorite blog friends, especially

if you have it on your phone like me. I think it also makes us bloggers seem more approachable. People

will talk to me all day on Twitter who won't email me or comment on my blog. Win-win.

If it confuses you, not to worry...I found this awesome (and pretty funny) tutorial on how to use

Twitter. It's called Mom, This Is How Twitter Works. Best name ever.

So. Get on Twitter, and then come be friends with me.

6. Maybe you remember when I showed you this awesome Iviebaby shop banner I'd had made? The

one with the amazing typography and a cute cloud blowing on a bunch of balloons? I loved that banner.
And I thought my graphic designer was the bomb for making it.

Turns out, she had stolen it. I paid good money for it, then saw a poster with the exact same cloud/balloon

image in my Pinterest feed months later. Ugh! When I asked the "artist" about it, she got defensive

about it, refused to refund my money even though I couldn't (wouldn't) use it in my shop anymore, and

said that "all art is derivative."

This is just one incident that led to this post last week.

Luckily, I got new designs in time for Cyber Monday. Better designs that were original and made for

me by a dear friend. You should hit her up if you're in the market for shop banners or blog design.

{Here's her email: candisljones@yahoo.com}

7. Here's a peak inside the grocery store. We always run into Dot and Ivie while we're there. I'll let the

pictures do the talking, since I said I wasn't going to say Scary Granny anymore.

8. Okay, I did the Etsy Christmas gift guides first because sometimes it takes handmade things a while

to arrive. Now I'm going to show this to you and watch you all scatter for your glitter, hot glue guns,

and washi tape dispensers. It's the best DIY gift roundup I could find (and not just because I'm in it

twice...that was a happy coincidence).

9. There's a giveaway happening here tomorrow. Here's a little preview of what's up for grabs:

...plus a little BIG something from Iviebaby. Be sure to stop by!

10. And last but not least. Next Friday when I do Ten Little Ivie Things it's going to be a link up. If you

already do/plan on doing a Friday round up of sorts (either things from your life or favorite links from

the internet, whatever), then make sure you're here to share.

dear santa, i want all the things: etsy edition {for the babies}

2011-11-30T07:00:00.001-06:00

Making this shopping guide made my uterus go all...

...whatever noise uteri generally make in the face of babies.

Just you try to resist the siren call of baby handmade goodness.

I dare you.

mr. nimbus + scottish highlands finger puppets + penny the handmade cloth doll

teething necklace with crochet beads + yellow polka dotted socktopus + vintage materials doll kit

wee little pixie hood + red ruffle mary janes + whale mobile

i'm your huckleberry onesie + stork sign for nursery + custom baby's first year poster

elephant + baby slippers + the huckleberry cap

rhinoceros + knottie baby sleeper + ferocious felt lion coat

baby headband bow + ludlow the freckled woodland bear + the innocent lamb

plush nesting doll + barn in the sun puzzle + fuzzy eskimo boots

100% organic baby onesie + knitted baby blanket with rainbow bobbles + leather elephant moks

aqua petal shoe + subliminal baby letterpress + wooden car set

other christmas shopping guides

what are your christmas traditions?

2011-11-29T07:00:00.005-06:00

Our theme this year for Christmas is "Go big or go home." So it was more than appropriate that Mike

brought home the biggest dern tree I ever did see on his way back from the golf course last week.

Don't worry, he'd been driving it around on top of his vehicle all day.

"Ask me how many Christmas Vacation jokes I got today," he said.

Oh Mike. You are a class act, and I just can't quit you.

Anyway, he got us a good one.

Here's Everett, meeting his first Fraser Fir.

He approves.

Mike and I always decorate the tree together. Always. We light the fireplace, even if it's not that cold,

and I put on some music. This year it was the soundtrack to The Family Stone. He always untangles

the lights while I strategically stuff them into the branches. Then we stand back and admire our work

while we act all in love with each other because Christmas is magic but twinkle lights are magic-er.

Then we usually put the ornaments on. I untangle the hooks while he puts each ornament on the tree

and asks me where the next one should go.

But this year, you know, we're three. Meaning we waited until the next afternoon to hang ornaments so

Everett could join in. I let him "pick" the one he wanted to go on first. He chose a bear. Shocking, I know.

I like how it looks like he's really hanging it here. Fooled ya. I hung it.

And yes, I am wearing the same outfit two days in a row. Don't you dare judge me.

Of course we do other things. Hot chocolate k-cups, Christmas Eve dinner at our house,

stockings for "the kids," etc, etc.

What do you do in your family? I'd love to steal your traditions right out from under you and all that.

everett's first thanksgiving

2011-11-28T08:40:00.005-06:00

The two EEs.

"Just like looking into a mirror," big EE said.

I showed this one to Mike while it was still in the camera,

and he said, "Wait, I can't see anything for all the bald glare!"

Me with Mike's mother. She was just saying how happy she was to have all her boys in the same place.

Everett with his sister-in-law.

Refusal to nap meltdown. You can't see it, but he's wailing.

And I'm thinking, "Why has no one offered me wine yet?"

Bet you can see that in my eyes.

Mike and EE.

The mother-in-law always has to start doing the dishes, doesn't she?

You'll see my sweet potato casserole there on the right.

What what.

Michael. He always does that. I'm not sure.

Dashing Elbert Earl.

Scary Granny. Okay, really, that's the last time I'm going to say that.

Everett with his cousin.

It was a good day and Everett ate real food!

(not turkey though...pictures and winning! video of that coming soon)

introducing iviebaby + cyber monday coupon code

2011-11-27T15:38:00.003-06:00

Say hello to Iviebaby!

When the weather here quits being so abysmal, I've got lots of other things to photograph and list, but

this is a pretty good start. You can use the coupon code CYBERMONDAYIVIEBABY for 30% off

everything in the shop tonight and tomorrow (Sunday and Monday).

custom felt silhouette nursery wall hoop art

custom felt bunting nursery decor (choose your colors)

custom crib sheet (choose your fabric)

{note: if you've got your own fabric, labor is only $18}

custom contoured changing pad cover (choose your fabric)

{note: if you're got your own fabric, labor is only $18}

Some of the crib sheet and changing pad cover fabric choices I've got...there are plenty to choose from:

and bibs...

aqua ruffle bib + purple ruffle bib

Oh and...

I've got new things over at Iviemade.

big fat stripes pillows in black and white + natural and white

clutches in blue and white stripes + herringbone and faux ostrich

There's also a coupon code for Iviemade too, which you can find here.

why are we so scared?

2011-11-22T14:42:00.000-06:00

Why are we so scared to be ourselves?

To come up with our own titles? Our own blog design? Our own online personalities?

Our own hairstyles? Our own lipstick? Our own outfits?

Our own THING?

Why must we copy and copy and copy and sign off like she does and pose our baby

like she does and dress our husband like she does?

Why do we have to copy to feel as good as?

Why are we never enough?

Why are we so scared to give other people credit when we blog? Why can't we just say, hey, I took this

picture from here, isn't it great? Or hey, I took this idea from this person and I want you to know

because you should go read this person's blog too?

Do we think we'll lose readers if we link up to someone else, if we give honest credit where it's due?

Is it like when we were in middle school and we were afraid we'd lose a friend if they started being

friends with someone else, as if that person didn't have room enough in her heart for two friends?

Why are we so scared?

I wanted to sign off on an up note this week. But I just feel so disheartened. On the one hand because

the internet overwhelms me with fabulous ideas so that I'm in a constant state of "Why didn't I think of

that first?!"-ness. And on the other hand because I keep stumbling upon blogs where my blogging

ideas/content/formats are literally being ripped from my posts. It doesn't make me feel flattered, it

makes me feel cheated, it makes me want to shut people out, it makes me want to stop creating.

Sigh.

And with that, I would just like to put out a little smoke signal. Don't let the shiny pretty things that

work for other people make you feel inadequate. Turn off the computer and spend time in your own

head, making your own shiny pretty things. Then share them. Because that makes the world better.

And when those things get stolen, go make more things.

Because after all, it's just you you're doing this for. Just you.

thanks for...

2011-11-22T07:00:00.001-06:00

For a good song that can make me cry.

Skinny Love by Bon Iver/Bon Iver on Grooveshark

For the chance to think on all I've got. Thanks Thanksgiving.

For marrying a truly good man.

For seeing the good in myself because he sees it first.

For motherhood--that Everett was given to me, that I get to be his mama forever.

For seeing the features of the people I love the most when I look at my son.

For the real friendships I've made with all of you.

What are you guys thankful for?

Enjoy your time off with your friends and family!

Love, E.

{thank you note from here}

thanksgiving recipe exchange

2011-11-21T08:50:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is this Thursday! How did that happen? My stepson and his wife will be coming into

town for lunch with the whole Ivie clan, as usual. Then I'll be making dinner for the four of us to eat

after Everett goes to sleep, since they'll be spending the night with us. I pulled out the trusty family

recipes to make, but I'd like to hear what you make (or are planning on making for the first time) at

your house.

I'll share mine if you share yours?

Link up or just write the whole dang recipe in the comments.

I love recipes. Especially if they're the trusty tried and true family kind.

Here are my family's favorite holiday recipes:

{pie crust image + recipe from here}

spread thin

2011-11-18T07:00:00.002-06:00

It's Friday, and I have very little blogging juice left in me.

There's no way in hell I can pull a Little Ivie Things together. That shit takes all damn day.

But I can do a little roundup for you instead.

+ I invited my dad and stepmother to come visit for the holidays--a nice long visit--and they

tentatively accepted. I love this, mostly because (as I've said before) Christmas just hasn't been the

same since my mother died. Each year I've just kind of shuffled around, waiting until I had my own

family to start traditions. Now that Everett is here, it's the first year of a very good thing. Let the

Pinterest Christmas, crackly turntable carols, Christmas Eve dinner with the whole family, and hot

cocoa with Grampa fest begin!

+ I'm starting a little job on Monday. I'll be tutoring at the middle school about 8 hours a week. Mike

is going to watch EE while I'm gone, and he's totally pumped about it. They did a practice run

yesterday for about three hours while I set up my schedule with the principal. I got back and Mike

gave me a meticulous rundown of what they did ("...and then he slept, and then I checked on him, and

then he slept some more, it was crazy how much he was sleeping, but he did..."). It was adorable. I

know he's excited to have some alone time with the baby without Mrs. Boobs always butting in. That's

me, by the way. Good ole Mrs. Boobs.

+ Little EE and Big EE's birthdays are coming up. Well, Everett's half birthday. But they fall basically

on the same day, and we are so doing a little surprise party for the two of them. We talked about it in

front of Everett, but he's probably already forgotten. I want to make him a little cake to rip apart.

Anybody know of any baby safe recipes?

+ And just because you didn't ask, here are a couple of rando pictures of us trying to make more

Pinterest magic, me and my son. My hair looked like shit when I took those strips out. That's two

Pinterest fails in one week. I'm starting to think that website is bullshit.

Happy weekend, everybody!

dear santa, i want all the things: etsy edition {for the ladies}

2011-11-17T07:00:00.002-06:00

The first of the Christmas shopping guides:

A collection of my favorite things via Etsy.

Happy wishlisting!

silk satin cat sleep eye mask + london pillow cover + handmade ballet flats

the gray hurray jumper + teal lace necklace + large jute ruffle market bag

mini goals chalkboard + raise your flags necklace + home is wherever typography

personalized handwritten love letter + classic sampler cookie box + hammered 14k gold band

market tote in canvas and leather + vintage inspired pink owl bank + custom wooden bunting

custom pinafore with pockets + mustard bow shoe clips + rooster tea towel

custom crochet garland + orange reversible camera strap + mmmm letterpress recipe cards

honeybee bracelet + sand bow belt + custom address stamp

off to see the world hoop art + tiny scallop clock + lacy beige crochet necklace

paris print + pleated neckline dress in plum + hanging pod wall vase

brace yourself. i vlogged.

2011-11-16T06:54:00.000-06:00

I have three things to say, and then I'll let the vlog do the rest of the talking:

1. This shit is unedited. I only did it one time. God help us all.

2. I was nervous as a cat there for a minute. Thanks a lot. I included the part where I'm freaking out
because it's funny as hell to me and probably considered "vlogging gold" in some countries.

3. This is an accent vlog, which means I say some words and answer some questions and you get to
point and laugh at the way I talk. Fun.

Here are the lists for the accent part, if you want to follow what I'm doing:

aunt, route, wash, oil, theater, iron, salmon, caramel, fire, water, sure, data, ruin, crayon, toilet, New

Orleans, pecan, both, again, probably, spitting image, Alabama, lawyer, coupon, mayonnaise, syrup,

pajamas, caught

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on someone's house?

What is the bug that when you touch it, it rolls into a ball?

What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?

What do you call gym shoes?

What do you say to address a large group of people?

What do you call a spider that has an oval shaped body with extremely long legs?

What do you call your grandparents?

What do you call the wheeled contraption you carry groceries in at the supermarket?

What do you call it when it rains while the sun is shining?

What is the thing you change to TV channel with?

I am so totally vlogging again. Loved it. So don't make fun of me for being lame.

five months with everett

2011-11-15T07:00:00.002-06:00

Length

Birth: 20 inches

Now: 29.5 inches

Weight

Birth: 7 pounds 12 ounces

Now: 21 pounds 2 ounces

Special talents

Following food and drink with your hungry baby eyes. You specialize in cans of root beer. Something
'bout that shiny label just calls your name.

Perfecting your ninja baby attack spectacle removal technique--you can get Daddy's glasses off with

two fingers in less than two seconds. Not sure how you can improve on that, but I think you're willing
to try. Scary Granny never sees you coming.

Rolling over, mothertruckers! Both ways, son. My kid can move in 360 horizontal and vertical degrees.

Your breastfeeding abuse may be at an all-time high these days, and that's saying something, since last
month you gave me a black eye. Sometimes I'm pretty sure I'm getting my hair pulled, my arm
pinched, my nipple bitten, and my nose picked all at the same time. What the hell, son? You only have
two hands!

Crying

Nada. Should we just get rid of this category? Or would that be asking for it?

Sleep

Lately, you've been stretching your naps out (think three hours...it's bliss) and cutting them down to
twice a day. You go down super easy in the morning and like a crazy person in the afternoon. You're
still a six to six sleeper at night with two feedings in between.

Daddy and I have been talking about cutting down your night feedings, and you always give us the
side eye about it as if to say, "Don't even. I will fight you on this sure as my name is EE." For the most
part I don't mind them, since you're super cuddly and quick about it, but you know how it goes,
growing up and all that.

Dislikes

Still Scary Granny. Daddy and I are going to stop calling her that, like yesterday, because that would
probably hurt her feelings like whoa if you repeated it. It's so pitiful and so funny watching you figure
out how to get away from her as fast as you can. She clutches your little hands and you peel your
fingers out of her grasp just like a kitty cat.

Afternoon naps.

When anything doesn't happen as quick as you want. Son, you got my temper. Or that's what your
Daddy kept telling you until it came out that he held the record for technical fouls in basketball. And I
was all, the truth comes out! Let's just say you got it from both of us.

Likes

Being read to. You and I will lie on our tummies in the guest bedroom and read several books before
you tire of it. Please be a reader one day. Boys who read are super cute.

Taking showers with Mommy. You prefer them to baths these days because I let you kick your feet
into the water and marvel at the water hitting your hands for as long as you want.

Whenever Daddy comes home. I could be staging a three ring circus with baby animals up in this
house and the second your daddy comes in the room, you only have eyes for him. Happy baby eyes,
no less. I kind of love it.

When Baby the puppy dog licks your toes. I've been trying to keep y'all apart because, let's face it, she
has fleas and spends her spare time in gutters I'm sure, but you can't keep a dog from her master (and
you, my boy, are her new master).

four months

three months
two months
one month

+

Also, YOU GUYS, look at my sweet babe on this fabric a long long time ago.

let boys be boys

2011-11-14T07:00:00.003-06:00

Everett turned 5 months like forever ago.

So we finally sat down yesterday to make his monthlies. I saw this pin last week and foolishly thought I too could make Pinterest magic with my son.

This is what Everett thought of that idea.

He doesn't play games, basically.

when you marry the old guy

2011-11-11T07:00:00.003-06:00

When you marry the old guy, you realize that maybe there are some things that will just never...click,

you know? You can click on big things like raising children, religion, and how stupid some people can

be, but there are some things that will shimmy through the 39-year-old crack in your marriage just like

a slippery fish.

Like he will never understand twitter. He will literally go to his grave not giving a shit about twitter.

And yes, that's weird to me and also kind of awesome.

Also, the other night, I asked him about the first time he ever touched a computer (2005) and what that

was like (because I needed a laugh).

Mike: I'll never understand where the fax machine went so wrong. That thing was all I ever needed and

more until The Computer came along.

Me: And what did you think the internet was?

Mike: A bunch of hocus pocus.

So Mike got an iPhone Wednesday, and I think we should stop the presses for it, because it's kind of a

big frickin deal. He totally geeked out about it too, which was surprising. I tried to put his phone down

over where I put my phone down, and he was all, don't get the two mixed up! don't get MY special

phone mixed up with YOUR older phone.

Okaaay.

Anyway, I gave him a crash course in iPhonery last night. I wish to God I had filmed it. It involved a

bunch of me trying to do it for him and him holding the phone away like "No, it's my new toy" and

him clicking when he should have been scrolling and me holding his hand for him so that he could "get

the feel for" scrolling and him telling me "Well that was all you needed to say, was press harder" and

me trying not to giggle.

Ten minutes later I asked him to make the turntable work. My She & Him Christmas album finally

came in the mail, and I have yet to make the turntable work on my own, even if we did have it set up.

Mike: Did you hook it up?

Me: Yes?

Mike: Well then it should work.

Me: I plugged it in the wall, what else does it need?

Oh, I don't know, speakers, a pre-amp, an amp, lots of intricate wires and snakey cords. He went on

and on about how silly I was and I wouldn't understand, there were things, he pointed, he shook his

head, he said he'd do it when he got home from work, actually he'd need half a day to get it done.

And I was like, shit, don't even try to explain it to me, my mind just exploded.

And this is the part where I admit I'm just as bad as he is. But he knows how to use the iPhone now

and I can't even listen to my new record.

update: how to get your baby to sleep like the dead

2011-11-09T07:00:00.005-06:00

Remember this baby sleep post? Where I was all, I have no idea what I'm doing, what do you guys do?

Well apparently it has helped some people (mainly babies) get their sleeping shit together. Yay! Except
now we've grown (and by we, I mean EE) and we don't follow those crazy rules anymore. We have
new sleeping rules, so I thought an update on our sleeping routine would be helpful.

Or at least funny.

I'll start with this clip from Modern Family. One of my favorite episodes, all about Ferberizing your baby.

{sorry about the annoying commercial}

I like to think if we tried "cry it out" at night, that is pretty much how it would go for us: I'd be crying
while draped over the monitor and lying to Mike when he caught me watching a late night showing of
the Baby Bullet infomercial again. "Don't be mad, I just got up to change him."

All that to say, I'm still waking up with Everett all night long to give him the boob. I'm not even going
to worry about sleeping all night until he's at least 6 months old and having solids. Call me a martyr,
but I can't sleep when someone's crying.

As for during the day.

We still stick to eat-play-sleep.

Sometimes Everett gets wonky and tries to eat before he sleeps and his naps are cut almost in half.
Don't ask me why. I'm just the messenger.

I let him fuss.

When he was a newborn I was all, COLICfacePickTheBabyUpHe'sHurting all the time. But as you
know, we graduated from Colic University with our PhD two months ago, so I let him fuss a little now
before putting him down for a nap. What qualifies as fussing? It's like when he's still playing or sitting
with me but not happy about it. Some people call it "whining" and try to stick their kid in the crib
immediately because Oh he's tired! I found it works better to let them get it out in the light of day first.
All I know is the times I put him down without a fuss session first, he just ends up screaming in his crib.

I quit rocking him so much.

I went from rocking him like 40 minutes before each nap and bedtime (ridiculous) to rocking him for
an hour before bedtime. I did it gradually so he wasn't all, where is the love?! I kept the bedtime
rocking because my mommy heart needs it and he likes it too. I know rocking doesn't sound evil, but it
kind of is when it comes to naps. Let's say you rock your baby to sleep and then you put him down in
his crib. It's the equivalent to him of going to sleep in a hammock and waking up in the basement with
the lights off. When he dozes in and out of sleep that first time, he realizes he's not being rocked
anymore and he's pissed about it, maybe even scared, and ready to be awake so someone can hold him
again. Make sense? So why is the bedtime rocking okay for us? 6pm is EE's bedtime no matter what.
Even if I did put him downstairs in the basement in a hammock with the lights off, he wouldn't notice
because he's going to sleep and that's that.

He learned the crib is where sleep happens.

On the subject of rocking, you need to teach the baby that rocking does not equal sleep, the crib does.
The first day I transitioned us from rocking to just crib, I did modified rocking: turned off the lights,
turned on the noise machine, offered him his pacifier (all that was the same, so he recognize it was nap
time), and then I walked him around the room and hummed to him until his body went limp. I knew he
was drowsy but not asleep at that point, and I laid him down. I walked him for about three minutes.
Did he learn it the first time? Nope. I had to reassure him by patting his back and offering him his
pacifier before he eventually nodded off. He cried, I cried. It wasn't pretty. But after three days, he
knew humming meant sleep, and now I can lay him down in his crib and he will literally shut his eyes
and just go to sleep now.

Is it perfect?

Hells no. There are still days he takes 40 minute (even 20 minute!) naps, and I'm always like, damn
son, on those days. But then he sleeps through the night. It's a trade off with babies and sleep. There
are also days he doesn't just "drift off" for naps either, so don't hunt me down for bragging about that, okay?

And if you're to the point of hunting people down because you're feeling all angsty inside about baby
sleep, spend 2 or 3 days not looking at the clock. I swear, you will think they're sleeping longer than
they are, the day goes by quicker, they sense that you're less wound up and they take longer naps.
Babies are smart like that. After those days go by and you pull out the clock again, bet money you'll be
on a better routine than when you started. (Props to my dad for passing along that tip)

+

When did your kids start sleeping through the night (with no feedings)? And how did you make that happen?

spouses night at the club

2011-11-08T07:00:00.006-06:00

I don't know about you, but I judge a man by his friends. You can always tell a gentleman by the

company he keeps, that sort of thing.

I've met Mike's friends, one or two at a time, some of their wives. But never in large quantities.

And then last weekend happened. All Mike's friends and their wives for happy hour and dinner at the

club where Mike golfs twice a week.

We arrived, and first thing I was all, where's the wine? Yes, I was nervous. Mostly because Everett was

being put to bed for the first time in his life by someone other than milkboobs (me), and because I'm

not totally immune to first impression judgment. I hate that some people see Mike and me and

immediately think bad things, when really they just need to get to know us to be all, foreheadsmack,

what was I thinking?

Anyway, I'll just tell you now about one of Mike's friends from the golf course and let that do the talking:

R has dentures. That's clear as day when he's standing across the room from you, but close up, it's

even...worse? better? Probably better because he has no shame and can't keep a joke to himself if he tried.

The first time I met him he was meeting Everett for the first time too, and he pointed to Mike and said,

"Why'd you marry this putz? Anyone of us could have got this baby for you!" You're probably dying a

little on the inside now like I did at the time, because I know Mike is old for having children, but R is a
dinosaur. You have to admire his inappropriate pluck though.

He emcees the calcutta every year at the club, which is when people bet ridiculous amounts of

money on teams and there's drinking, and I've been told that it's "no place for a lady." So of course I'm

going this year because how else are you guys gonna know what happens?

His wife B is just as...good? bad? as R.

Mike has R over every year to spend the night for a local tournament. One year R decided he would

just go home instead. Mike called R up at home to report on tee times for the next day.

B, R's wife, answered the phone first and as soon as Mike said, "Is R there?" she lost her mind and

started yelling accusations into the phone, "What do you mean is R there? He's supposed to be with
you! Where is he? Where is he?"

Mike says she wouldn't let him get a word in edgewise, even if he had been prepared to lie for his

buddy, and then click! R picked up the other line and said, "Hello?"

Because he really was there, and B knew about it the whole time, she was just giving Mike shit. "Were

you going to lie for him and say he was with you the whole time? Huh? Huh?"

Mike occasionally refers to her as batshitcrazy.

So the night was a success. I really enjoyed meeting all Mike's friends and their wives and the place

was really nice. I despise being "that girl" with the camera, so I'll just show you some pictures I took

when I threw my sister a wedding luncheon there last year.

The fireplace was lit and it was pretty darn cozy.

Oh and Everett? He stayed up until 8:30 for the first time in his short life because he knew milkboobs

(I) was missing, and Johnny and Chloe reported that he pretty much screamed the whole time. "He has

a temper, but we still love him!"

+

What are your husband's/boyfriend's friends like? Do you get along with them?

{first image via}

a birth movie + some thoughts

2011-11-07T07:00:00.004-06:00

+ I showed this to Mike yesterday and he started bawling like a baby as soon as it got to the part where

his dad sees the baby for the first time. Big EE meet little EE. I love the part where Elbert Earl is

thanking me over at my bed while everyone else is busy gushing over the baby on the other side of the

room (1:47).

+ Mike can remember what I said when they first laid Everett on my chest and I can't. I like that for

some reason. He says I said, "He's so beautiful, oh my god, he's so beautiful!" while I laughed and

cried at the same time.

+ I showed it to Everett too, and his favorite part is when the music swells. He lifted his arms into the

air and bounced on my lap as if to say, "AND THEN I WAS BORN!"

+ One of the sweetest moments after the actual birth was watching Johnny interact with Everett (1:43

and 1:57). While I was pregnant, he had been diagnosed with throat cancer and he'd lost a shocking

amount of weight since the last time I'd seen him before his surgery and treatment. The new life in the

room was good for him, I think.

+ Making this little video reminded me that "Hey! I'm not pregnant anymore." After 40 weeks of

puking and crying and being mean to innocent bystanders, I still get a thrill that I can roll over in the

bed unassisted. Still, five months later.

+ The music in the video is "Global Warming" and "Hi" from The Family Stone, which sort of

played a hand in Everett's name.

+ I've decided for the next baby I'm having a professional in there to take pictures and video. With

Everett I hesitated because I wanted to keep it private, but then I was all, who are all these damn

strangers in here looking at my lady parts? Might as well have someone documenting it for you.